Sometimes it’s not just anxiety, depression or chronic pain.

The other day I got really upset at my husband, which ended up in a fight, and I went to sleep angry. Something I noticed as I recently completed my MRT food elimination diet is that there is a pattern of sudden irritability after having food inflammation (from my yellow category). As a behavior analyst, I’m quite good at noticing patterns, and this was one pattern that had enough data points to start making me question— are our fights correlated to what we eat? The answer is yes. 

Food isn’t just correlated to marital fights, it’s also correlated to racing thoughts, panic, fatigue, low motivation, irritability, chronic aches. These could be nervous system responses, blood sugar crashes, or microbiome imbalance from specific foods we eat. And to be honest, we won’t really know which foods are causing it until we take tests that can provide accurate results. 

Sometimes, food and trauma can mimic symptoms that look like mental illness or dysregulation. And most of us were never taught to even consider that our gut, blood sugar, or inflammation might be involved. Sometimes, we have more power and control than we think over our health. Sometimes, it starts with paying attention to what you’re eating, and how your mind and body react afterwards. 

What is inflammation? Inflammation is your body’s response to stress—whether that stress is food, trauma, or gut issues. When it lingers, it messes with your mood, energy, and pain levels. If we continue to contribute inflammation to our bodies and mind, this can lead to chronic illnesses and diseases. Inflammation looks different in every person but it could look like.. 

• skin rashes/ eczema

• stuffy nose

• headaches

• body aches

• joint stiffness

• bloating

• diarrhea

• anxiety

• frequent colds/cold symptoms

• hives 

• irritability/ mood swings

• brain fog

• difficulty sleeping

• sensitive to stress

• menstrual pain

and much more.

If this is you, consider taking the MRT food sensitivity test. And if you’re brave.. try the 3 month food elimination diet after you’re protocol. You will thank me later!

Why Quick Fixes Fail—and the Secret to Lasting Change

Let’s talk about the importance of therapeutic coaching, and what it offers.

Investing in long-term support for therapeutic coaching is important because lasting change rarely happens from a single session or short burst of motivation—it happens through consistent guidance, reinforcement, and adaptation over time.

Here’s why long-term support matters:

1. Deep, Lasting Change Takes Time

   • Behavior patterns—especially those tied to health, stress, or emotional regulation—are often decades in the making. A long-term coach-client relationship allows for gradual rewiring of habits, not quick fixes that fade.

2. Accountability Over the Long Haul

   • Willpower fluctuates, but having someone who knows your journey keeps you on track during dips in motivation and life’s curveballs.

3. Personalized Strategies That Evolve

   • Your needs, stressors, and environment change over time. A long-term coach can adapt your plan so it stays effective and relevant instead of becoming stale.

4. Skill Building & Integration

   • You don’t just learn what to do—you practice how to do it until it becomes second nature. This might mean communication skills, self-regulation tools, or problem-solving approaches that stick for life.

5. Relapse Prevention

   • Without continued guidance, old habits can resurface under stress. Long-term coaching provides a safety net, helping you catch slips early and pivot before they undo your progress.

6. Emotional Resilience & Confidence

   • Change isn’t just about action—it’s about mindset. Ongoing support reinforces your belief in your ability to succeed, even when setbacks happen.

Therapeutic coaching isn’t about “needing someone forever”—it’s about creating enough time and guidance for you to become self-sufficient, resilient, and confident in the changes you’ve made.

Trauma & Loss

Trauma is often linked to an experience of loss. Loss is often the invisible thread in trauma. Maybe loss of something you should have received, but didn’t (such as affection or love). Maybe it was a loss of something or someone you had, that got suddenly removed or slowly, and painfully removed. A job, your health, a loved one.

Loss is often like a terminal illness, nothing we can truly do except perhaps put it off for awhile. 

We tend to quantify and compare loss with statistics, numbers, length of time, severity, and difficulty. How many years did they suffer? Who had it worse?

But loss is loss, and no two losses are the same. Each loss (or trauma) inflicts a unique kind of pain. It is impossible to quantify and compare losses.

When we quantify and compare, we deprive an individual of the validation they need to move through the experience. Or we deprive ourselves.
We suddenly feel like the boy who scratched his finger but cried too hard to receive much sympathy. It is suddenly dismissed and unworthy of attention. 

So what can we do?

The goal is not to compare “how bad is it?”, it’s to gain meaning from the suffering so that we can grow through it.  

Processing or healing grief isn’t about getting over it either. It’s about learning to live through it. It’s to absorb it and allow it to become part of who we are, and who we choose to be from that experience. 

We cannot “recover” what loss we’ve experienced, but we can learn to grow in our loss by understanding the power of response. 

*recover defined as expecting to resume the way we lived prior to the loss.

*response defined as the choices we makes the grace we receive, and the transformation we experience during the loss .

A response, is the find meaning in what you have lost. Not right away, but by feeling it, processing it, and sitting in the pain. By allowing that pain to penetrate so deeply that it creates something new in you, something wonderful you didn’t think was possible.

Reference: A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser

-With deep sorrow comes deep joy- with the power of response.

Resistance, Escape, Non-compliance?

As a trauma-informed behavior analyst, we often have a different lens than a traditional behavior analyst when it comes to “non-compliance” or avoidance behaviors. When you understand how trauma impacts the brain and influences our behaviors, you understand that we don’t always have control over our behaviors, at least not when we are in a fight or flight survival mode. From a trauma lens it might be…

Less “I refuse” and more like “my body can’t take it”

Less “I refuse” and more like “I don’t feel safe anymore”

Less “I refuse” and more like “I need to survive”

We consider that, maybe someone’s resistance is actually someone’s nervous system hitting their limit.

Sometimes, the body doesn’t know the difference between a non-threat and a threat, especially if this body has a history of trauma. When the body feels under threat, it communicates to the brain to activate stress in the entire body. Heart rate increases, pupils dilate, blood stream limits to its extremities, and this prepare the body for survival action. This “survival action” is where some of those challenging behaviors might show up.

In adults, it can show up as ignoring the subject, changing the subject, fidgeting, getting defensive, joking it off or being sarcastic, becoming argumentative and say “I disagree”, being combative and blaming, or shutting down in general. In children it can possibly look like fidgeting, running away, biting or hitting, saying “no”, refusing an instruction, falling asleep, screaming, throwing items, or yelling at you. When people engage in these type of behaviors, they have already left their window of tolerance, and their window of tolerance is their safety net. The window of tolerance communicates to them, “no one is out to get me, I’m safe, I can relax”.

This is what we call a trauma-informed approach. It’s understanding that a behavior is never ill intended, but instead, sensitive to the consideration of how a lack of safety can show up in various forms of behaviors. This doesn’t mean these behaviors ALWAYS mean a lack of safety. There are nuances to it, but that’s why learning how to be trauma-informed is so important. To learn more, you can book a free 30 minute session with Annie or browse her “resources and services” tab.

ABA vs. ABA Therapy

What is Applied Behavior Analysis?

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is the science of understanding behavior. This method was created by B.F. Skinner in the 1920’s. The purpose of the field of ABA is to create significant change for individuals who may be struggling to create positive change. This is done by taking data, observing, and analyzing the environment to address the root issues. Once data is collected and all variables are considered, this is used to create personalized interventions to assist the individual or animal. The ultimate goal of teaching any skills utilizing ABA is to generalize any skills being taught. This means a skill that might be taught at home or with parents, should be able to be implemented with other people and in other public settings. Delivery of the strategies may look different depending on the practitioner's purpose, values and training.

In the field there are currently 3 roles you can take on: a registered behavior technician (RBT), board certified behavior analyst (BCBA), or a BcABA (assistants to BCBA’s).

An RBT’s training typically requires a bachelor's degree and a minimum of 40 hours of online course training and a competency exam. A BCBA’s training requires a minimum of a master's degree, a competency exam, along with 2,000 hours of fieldwork supervision by another BCBA.

The application of ABA is a tool widely used in therapy for children, animal training, organization behavior management for corporate companies, environmental science, physical fitness training, life coaching, teaching, nutrition, marketing, and more. 

What is ABA Therapy?

The term “ABA therapy” started in the 1950’s by a clinical psychologist Ivar Lovaas, who expanded on Skinner’s ABA concepts as a way to help the lives of autistic children. The method of ABA became more widely known when in 2014 the Affordable Care Act required insurance to cover medically necessary treatment of children with Autism. 

In today’s society, there are many ABA clinics companies who operate under insurance and offer ABA therapy for children with autism. The purpose of these clinics are to teach autistic individuals socially significant skills based on a comprehensive assessment.

In an ABA therapy company, you will typically have two professionals you come in contact with. An RBT (the direct therapist who works with the child) and a BCBA/BcABA (a program manager who runs the assessments, creates the programs, supervises the RBT’s training, and provides parent training).

Where does ABA therapy take place?
ABA therapy can take place in the home of the family, in an ABA clinic, schools, and within community outings such as going to the playground or going grocery shopping. The location will depend on what each individual ABA company offers. 

How do ABA companies determine the number of hours my child gets?
Once insurance has approved a family, a company BCBA will run a specific assessment on the individual. Once the assessment is completed, a report will be written to submit to insurance, including a requested number of hours. These hours should be based on the level of support an individual needs and what the assessment results show.

It is important to note that while ABA companies will give a recommended number of hours to caregivers, caregivers have the right to decline or request a different number of therapy hours. Discuss this with your BCBA to understand why those hours are recommended.

What is the difference between ABA therapy and other types of therapies such as speech or OT?

ABA training focuses on understanding root causes of behaviors (why we do what we do), analyzing behaviors, and understanding how to modify the environment and break down behaviors into smaller steps to help an individual succeed when feeling overwhelmed. This tool can technically be applied to any type of therapy or goal, and most therapists from different fields already utilize ABA strategies without realizing it. However, ABA is most often referred to for those who struggle with challenging behaviors or habits and need assistance with how to respond.

In an ABA clinic, they will work on a variety of life skill goals based on the assessment they run. This may look like increasing engagement, trying new foods, toileting, or communicating needs. If the child has additional therapies such as occupational therapy or speech, your ABA therapist should be collaborating and requesting goals from their other therapies to ensure goals are being incorporated and generalized into their sessions. 

Are all ABA Therapy Companies the same?

No. Just like there are different teaching methods or different philosophies on health, there are a variety of approaches and delivery methods that an ABA company can use. Approaches will depend on the training and values of the company so it is always helpful to ask questions on what those are. Goals may also vary based on the type of assessment the BCBA utilizes.
Additional differences may include differences in behavioral philosophy such as:

Methodological Behaviorism: Believes only in providing interventions based on what we can observe on the outside.

Radical Behaviorism: Believes in considering internal behaviors as well as external behaviors such as thoughts and feelings when providing interventions.

Methods and deliveries of how programs are run may also vary from company to company such as using:
Natural Environment Training (NET), Skills Based Training (SBT), Joint Attention Symbolic Play Engagement and Regulation (JASPER), Precision Teaching & Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Discrete Trial Training (DTT), and more.

It is important to recognize that ABA teaching methods are not used just in ABA but in many fields by doctors, teachers/professors, nurses, speech therapists, play therapists, and more—but it may not be called “ABA”.

Verbal Abuse

Experiencing verbal abuse with a partner or family member is more common than we realize. As someone who has experienced freedom, liberation, and deep connection with their partner amidst patterns of verbal abuse, here are some helpful tips to know.

Engaging in verbal abuse is often a learned behavior, rooted in a person’s environment and childhood. Many individuals who engage in it are unaware of what verbal abuse is or that they are perpetrating it. As someone on the receiving end, attempts to change their behavior by sending them articles, reacting emotionally (silent treatments, yelling, crying and then expecting comfort), storming off, or simply stating "you are verbally abusing me" are unlikely to be effective and, in fact, may exacerbate the situation. (Believe me, I've tried it all.) These reactions, stemming from unhealthy anger and coping mechanisms, do not foster connection but rather create further distance.

Let’s define verbal abuse: It's a form of language and communication intended to cause harm to another individual, often interchangeable with emotional abuse. Verbal abuse includes belittling, using a harsh tone, gaslighting, blaming, criticizing, denying, making accusations, or using humor to demean.

Often, the motivation behind verbal abuse (beyond learned behaviors) is a need for control and a desire to mask underlying pain. These individuals feel powerless, and confronting their pain is overwhelming. Therefore, they resort to verbal abuse as a coping mechanism, a way to conceal their vulnerability and push others away. While a harmful coping strategy, it falls under the same umbrella of other harmful anger episodes.

You cannot force someone to change, but you can alter how you receive, respond to, and manage verbal abuse. Transforming your anger, your hurt, and how your partner treats you has more to do with you, than them. Imagine verbal abuse as a skunk you're forced to coexist with. You don't want to eliminate it, but you also can't embrace it. What can you do? Perhaps you create designated spaces (the skunk gets one room, you get another), or you provide distractions (offering "treats" in a specific corner). Some trial and error will be necessary to find effective strategies. The point is, alternative responses and solutions exist, but often we lack the tools and knowledge to implement them, leading us to feel trapped and perpetuate cycles of pain and anger—fixating on the perception of being permanently stuck with a "skunk."

What can you do? Practice communicating your needs, establish healthy boundaries, and address your wounds and triggers. Often, relationships involving verbal abuse resonate with our nervous systems, even if they are painful, due to our own dysfunctional upbringings. Therefore, breaking this dynamic requires disrupting current relationship patterns. The good news is that you only need one person in the relationship to break with cycle.

Here are three crucial questions to address to break the cycle:

• Am I willing to do what is necessary, regardless of guilt or justifications?

• Am I willing to consistently practice setting boundaries and communicating my needs assertively?

• Am I willing to confront my own wounds to prevent them from hindering constructive responses?

Here are four tips and expectations:

• Unexpected Reactions: A different response will likely surprise your partner. They are not accustomed to this new approach, and you might encounter an "extinction burst," where their reactions initially worsen before improving. This is a natural human response, similar to how symptoms can intensify before recovery during illness.

• Grace and Understanding: No one is perfect. When setting boundaries with someone unfamiliar with them, it can be perceived as punishment, leading to defensiveness and reactive behavior. Expect this during the extinction burst phase. More importantly, adjust your expectations and offer reassurance. Consider a preemptive conversation: "I'm going to try something new in our relationship: voicing my needs and preferences more directly. I'm doing this because I care about our relationship, and I want to fight for it."

• Connection & Compassion: Your partner is the way they are today for a reason, but so are your reactions. Diving deep into attachment style wounds, enneagram, childhood stories, and even relationship fears (if they are willing) will give you a better understanding why they act this way. Prioritize dialog and connection (and use apps or online resources for preset questions), and use what you learn to your advantage and place yourself in each others stories. Focus on the emotions that come up when you imagine yourself in their stories. How helpless it must have felt, how frustrating it must have been, how inadequate it must have felt.

• Non-Linear Progress: Expect setbacks and imperfections. You will both make mistakes. Extend grace not only to your partner but also to yourself. Changing a dynamic established over many years is challenging. It requires time and self-compassion. Like any new skill, we don’t go from lifting 3 pounds of weights to 200 pounds of weight the next day if we’ve never worked out– we start small, rest, take breaks when necessary, and replenish ourselves to make progress.

If you want to learn more, you can book a 1:1 session with Annie and/subscribe to her email list. She will be coming out with a more in-depth course on emotions (and more) soon!

Anger & 3 Minute Hack

I have a special relationship with anger. It’s had a hold on me my entire life, until recently. I grew up defining anger as episodes of yelling, screaming, throwing items, or silent treatments. Anger was seen as something bad, because someone angry = I was in trouble, they don’t love me, it’s my fault, or I’m not good enough. When my mom used to lecture or yell at me, I would get angry and yell back at her. When my friends and I had disagreements, I would get angry and avoid them. When my partner didn’t understand what I was trying to say, I would get angry and criticize them. For the longest time, I was always in denial of my anger. I was in denial that I had anything to address or work on because I was too busy blaming others. My brain was resistant in the form of fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success even. But, there was a point in my life where I started getting tired of always feeling angry. I was tired of my blood boiling. I was tired of it affecting me physically. I was tired of it hurting my relationships. I started realizing, something is really off. Everything changed when I took a deep dive into my internal behaviors (what we call private events), as a behavior analyst. I realized I had been utilizing anger the wrong way. Not because I intended to, but because this was the relationship I was taught growing up.

Anger is not explosive episodes, yelling, or screaming. Anger is an outward expression of hurt, fear, or frustration. An experience of pain or grief that has not been processed, boundaries that have been crossed, or needs that have not been met. “What is that surge of energy I feel when I feel angry or frustrated then?”, you might ask. That surge of energy is what we call being activated in your “fight or flight”, a natural survival response our body engages in to protect us from a threat. Angry outbursts can develop when a person feels defeated, powerless, or has been betrayed in some way-- and they were never taught how to respond to those feelings of betrayal and powerlessness in a way that could help them feel safe again, so they stay in fight or flight.

But can you imagine a life where..

• Where anger becomes your greatest ally, revealing hidden depths of your identity?

• Where you know exactly what to do with your volcanic surges of energy, and how to use it to inspire you instead of feeling held down?

• Where your anger helps you build deeper relationships?

  I can. It’s my life today. Check out my 3-minute visual hack on calming your anger here.

Anger is a tricky emotion. It tricks us into thinking something is wrong, either with ourselves or that person across from us who is having a temper tantrum. But the reality is, anger can simply be a long overdue cry for help. However, when we are not taught how to sit with anger or befriend it, it becomes a threat, a chronic threat that our bodies fight until the body can’t take it anymore. We start getting headaches, body aches, we get irritated for no reason, or unexpectedly triggered. We get anxious, we dismiss, we ignore. We start attacking our loved ones, end up in fights, and start criticizing. Our palms get sweaty, our hearts beat fast, and sometimes we just can’t take it anymore. It becomes a vicious cycle of being stuck in a fight or flight with our anger.

Anger is not just moments of angry outbursts. “Subtle” anger moments can also be moments of stress, irritation, anxiety, resentment, and bitterness. It can also be silent, choosing not to speak up when we need to. Our body can be very good at masking it for the sake of survival. These feelings may eventually push us to snap at someone or push someone away unintentionally. We do this because we have a misunderstood relationship with anger. But no one truly wants that.

Here’s the good news: Anger is an emotional skill. A skill that anyone can unlearn, relearn, and build upon at any age. This means it’s never too late to build a healthier relationship with anger. If you are curious about where to start, check out my ebook here, or if you are ready to learn specific tools on how to process a wide range of emotions, click here.

Change begins with understanding the self-sabotaging patterns we engage in

When conflicts arise, we want our partner to change their behavior, or our child to change their behavior. Sometimes we even want our own parents to change their behavior. Here is what we rarely understand: Those are our survival responses, and If we want our circumstances to change for good, it starts with inner work. 

A crucial aspect to any change we want to see, is change within ourselves. But, what often gets us stuck is self-inflicting punishment we place on ourselves. Thoughts like…

• Why did I do that??

• Why can’t I calm down? 

• I really need to stop doing ______ 

• I can’t believe I acted that way. It would be easier to just pretend it didn’t happen 

• She has her life together, and I don’t 

• People my age are married, clearly I’m not there yet because of _____ 

• I’m being so lazy 

• I need to stop doing _____ 

• I have to do _____ otherwise what if this happens? 

• I’m too nice. I need to set more boundaries.

• I did it again. What’s wrong with me?

• I shouldn’t watch TV because I wasn’t even productive today 

This isn’t who we really are. These are voices and patterns that have been ingrained in us at some point in our lives growing up. Here is what all of these examples have in common: shame, rules, unrealistic expectations, comparing, minimizing, labels, judgement, and criticizing. All forms of punishment we give ourselves. The punishment we inflict on ourselves, becomes a reflecting of how we treat others and perceive others—which can then turn into a harmful interaction. 

As I always say, how someone treats others or talks about others, is a reflecting of their own insecurities and inner demons. Recognizing this or reading this in itself may prompt you to dismiss, but I urge you to resist. Instead, learn how to offer self-compassion. Self-compassion is often the antidote to shame and punishment, but self-compassion is a skill we often are not taught growing up. Consider replacing one of the above thoughts with one of these… 

• Would I say this to my friend? My child? My colleague? 

• “There we go again, I can see part of me is struggling and that’s okay”

• “What am I ignoring?” 

• “If I know how to be a good friend to others, I can be a good friend to myself. What would I do if my friend was suffering?” 

• “You are not your mistakes”

• “It’s okay to feel frustrated and hurt”  

• “I’m not lazy, I’m struggling” 

• “I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve been given” 

• “I’m scared, and I choose to be present with it. My emotions are my friends, not my enemy” 

• “You care so much that it’s making you angry, that must be hard” 

• “I have a need under that criticism. What is that need?” 

• “you don’t need to do anything in order to be valuable and loved” 

Remember that as you practice self-compassion, it is likely a muscle you’ve never used or rarely used. Like any muscle, it will take time, practice, and consistency to build up and become effective.

Can you accept the word “no”?

Can you accept the word “no”?

•You ask your partner if they can help you with something and they say “no”

•You ask your friend if they want to hang out today and they say “no”

•You ask your child to clean up their toys and they say “no”

Do you get reactive, upset, or offended?

If you find it difficult to hear or experience that word, it might be worth exploring this within yourself. The word “no” can be paired with previous experiences of rejection, abandonment, or neglect in your past. It can also be associated for the need to control, whether that is the ability to control a person or situation.

A no could be received and interpreted as “this person is going to leave me” or “this person doesn’t value me”. It could also be interpreted as “If this person doesn’t do what I say, something bad is going to happen”. All of the above are fear-based thoughts and are typically created as a way to protect ourselves from previous painful experiences of “no’s”.

But remember a “no” is not a good or bad response. It is merely just, a response. For some, it may be used to set healthy boundaries. For some, it may be used because they don’t know what else to say. For children, it may be to the extent of the language they have to self-advocate.

Remember to ask yourself the next time you feel reactive to a no:

•How am I defining a “no”? How does the other person define a “no”?

•Am I putting my self value in a “no”?

•What am I trying to control and why?

•What is my childhood/history with a “no”?

•What have I been taught in the past when someone says “no” to me

•What is the core issue?

#NonCompliance #Defiance #traumainformed #individualhistory #sayingno #appliedbehavioranalysis #rootissues #behaviors #sayingno

Becoming a BCBA is just the beginning

Let me tell you about a time where I was ruled by fear – the fear of failing the BCBA exam. It wasn't just about passing a test; it was about my entire sense of worth. When I failed the first time around, it’s difficult to put into words the sense of worthlessness I felt. I had tried the usual routes, applying behavior analytic principles: task analysis, study groups, and the works. But something was missing. The breakthrough came when I realized I needed to look deeper, to embrace a more holistic approach. In my second round of studying, that sense of worthlessness stirred something in me. I dissected my emotions like behaviors, dove into trauma-informed therapy, and confronted the ghosts of my past. I unearthed the driving forces behind my fear – childhood wounds, past traumas, and my current relationships. It wasn't linear. It was messy, years of probing, testing, and letting go of previous parts of myself. I learned the power of vulnerability and self-awareness, but more shockingly, I passed that second round.

A small part of me believed the letters 'BCBA' would magically fix everything. I imagined a balanced life with clarity, confidence, and mastery in my skill sets. But the truth is, the letters alone didn't change everything. They were a beginning, not an end. The real transformation happened when I integrated compassionate, non-traditional ABA principles, emotional regulation, and my own lived experience into the work that I do. That's the passionate transformation I want to offer you, a focus on professional development and self-care.

I know what it's like to feel trapped by fear, to desire a life where work isn't a burden, but a passion. My journey may be unique, but my struggles are universal. We all have barriers, but few have the courage to face them head-on, to learn the art of resilience. I've walked the path of making mistakes, confronting uncomfortable truths, and rebuilding myself from the ground up. Now, I wake up every day excited for my work, and confident in the work I do, a feeling I never thought was possible. I've learned to be my own best advocate and I feel alive. 

Imagine a life where you're not just a BCBA, but a truly empowered clinician or therapist. A life where you conquer your fears, find your purpose, and practice what you love. That's the transformation I offer you through mentorship and coaching. It's not a quick fix; it's a journey, a deep dive into yourself. But the freedom, the fulfillment, the 'I love what I do' feeling is worth every step.

Sensory Processing, FAQ’s & Solutions

If you are a therapist, clinician, or teacher, it’s important to understand how sensory processing can impact children and adults. The vestibular system, (which largely impacts sensory processing challenges), is responsible for balance, motion, and movement. It can impact a person’s ability to process information, both from the body awareness and cognitive level (such as executive functioning skills). Executive functioning skills include cognitive skills such as impulse control, memory, problem solving, planning, and focusing.

What does the vestibular system do?

• Provides you with a sense of balance and an awareness of your spatial orientation (Am I upside down? Am I sideways?)

• Orient information about the speed and direction of movement (How fast are you going?)

• Facilitates posture and a stable base for visual and auditory information

• Regulates muscle tone
  

  Signs of an Inefficient Vestibular System:

There are two types of sensory processing challenges, and many kids experience a mix of the two. One is oversensitivity (hypersensitivity). This leads to sensory avoiding—kids avoid sensory input because it’s too overwhelming. The other is undersensitivity (hyposensitivity). This causes kids to be sensory seeking—they look for more sensory stimulation because they may not be getting enough.

Hypersensitivity/ Over Response:

-Fearful of Heights (playground equipment)

-Does not like feet off the ground 

-Sensitive to touch (people touching, playdough/gooey items, etc.)

Hyposensitivity/ Under Responsive:

-Needs more input

-Craves spinning/swinging

-Difficulty sitting still and remaining in seat

For additional information you can refer to:
Sensoryprocessing101.com

sensationalbrain.com

HYPERSENSITIVITY (OVER-RESPONSE)

HYPERVISION means that their vision is too acute. For example, they notice the tiniest pieces of fluff on the carpet, complain about ‘moths (air particles) flying’, dislike bright lights, look down most of the time and may be frightened by sharp flashes of light. Under fluorescent lights such children can see a 60-cycle flickering: the whole room pulsates on and off.

Individuals with HYPERHEARING are generally very light sleepers, are frightened by sudden unpredictable sounds (for instance, telephone ringing, baby crying); they dislike thunderstorm, crowds and are terrified by haircut. They often cover their ears when the noise is painful for them, though others in the same room may be unaware of any disturbing sounds at all. Sometimes hyperauditory children make repetitive noises to block out other disturbing sounds.

Children with OLFACTORY HYPERSENSITIVITIES cannot tolerate how people or objects smell, though their carers can be unaware of any smell at all. They run from smells, move away from people and insist on wearing the same clothes all the time. For some, the smell or taste of any food is too strong, and they reject it no matter how hungry they are. They are usually poor eaters, gag/vomit easily and eat only certain foods.

Some individuals with ASDs are HYPERTACTILE. They pull away when people try to hug them, because they fear being touched. Because of their hypertactility, even the slightest touch can send them into a panic attack. Parents often report that washing their child’s hair or cutting nails turns into an ordeal demanding several people to complete it. Many individuals refuse to wear certain clothes, as they cannot tolerate the texture on their skin. Some children with hypertactility overreact to heat/cold, avoid wearing shoes, avoid getting ‘messy’ and dislike food of certain texture.

Children with VESTIBULAR HYPERSENSITIVITY experience difficulty changing directions and walking or crawling on uneven or unstable surfaces. They are poor at sports. They feel disoriented after spinning, jumping or running and often express fear and anxiety of having their feet leave the ground.

Individuals with PROPRIOCEPTIVE HYPERSENSITIVITY hold their bodies in odd positions, and might have difficulty manipulating small objects.

HYPOSENSITIVITY (UNDER-RESPONSE)

Sometimes the senses of children are in ‘hypo’, so that they do not really see, hear or feel anything. To stimulate their senses they might wave their hands around or rock forth and back or make strange noises.

Children with HYPOVISION may experience trouble figuring out where objects are, as they see just outlines, then they may walk around objects running their hand around the edges so they can recognise what it is. These individuals are attracted to lights, they may stare at the sun or a bright light bulb. They are fascinated with reflections and bright coloured objects. Having entered an unfamiliar room they have to walk around it touching everything before they settle down. Often they sit for hours moving fingers or objects in front of the eyes.

Children with HYPOHEARING may ‘seek sounds’ (leaning their ear against electric equipment or enjoying crowds, sirens and so on). They like kitchens and bathrooms – the ‘noisiest’ places in the house. They often create sounds themselves to stimulate their hearing – banging doors, tapping things, tearing or crumpling paper in the hand, making loud rhythmic sounds.

Individuals with HYPOTASTE/HYPOSMELL chew and smell everything they can get (e.g. grass, play dough). They mouth and licks objects, play with feces, eat mixed food (for instance, sweet and sour) and regurgitate.

Those with HYPOTATILITY seem not to feel pain or temperature. They may not notice a wound caused by a sharp object or they seem unaware of a broken bone. They are prone to self-injuries and may bite their hand or bang their head against the wall, just to feel they are alive. They like pressure, tight clothes, often crawl under heavy objects. They hug tightly and enjoy rough and tumble play.

Children with VESTIBULAR HYPOSENSITIVITY enjoy and seek all sorts of movement and can spin or swing for a long time without being dizzy or nauseated. People with vestibular hyposensitivity often rock forth and back or move in circles while rocking their body.

Those with PROPRIOCEPTIVE HYPOSENSITIVITY have difficulty knowing where their bodies are in space and are often unaware of their own body sensations, for example, they do not feel hunger. Children with hypoproprioceptive system appear floppy, often lean against people, furniture and walls. They bump into objects and people, stumble frequently and have tendency to fall. They have a weak grasp and drop things.
*Source from IntegratedTreatmentServices

Solutions

Hypersensitivity (Over-Responsive)

• Use cup in place of water fountain

• Recess Time: Swings, slide, sitting up, avoid go around 

• Provide opportunity for movement: run errands, assist teachers

• For tactile (touch) sensitivity:

• Give advance verbal warning 

• Help them set boundaries (teach them to state “I don’t like that” / “It hurts”)

• Do “heavy work” -push, pull, climb, lift items; (this helps them calm and organize their body)

• Adapt activities/artwork for sensitivity (i.e.instead of squeeze glue have Glue Dots or Glue sticks ready for them instead)

• Use ear plugs/ear muffs for those with hyperhearing

• Sensory “tent” (quiet time without stimuli)
  

Hyposensitivity (Under-Responsive)

• Adaptive Seats: Use a Ball Chair, Air-filled cushions, tennis balls, yoga ball, rocking chair-- anything that provides input

• Movement Breaks (errands, stand at desk, etc.)

• Do not take recess privilege away

• Recess time: Rotary Swing, slide on tummy 

• Schedule movement prior to seat work or any sitting activity 

• Provide Sensory Gym time

• Use Weighted Vest / Pressured Garments

• Deep Pressure Squeezing on the arms and legs 

• Fidget toys (provide during circle time/seating time)

• Chewable Jewelry 

• CamelBak® water bottle is a good outlet for constant chewing

• Have a Sensory Bin: Sand, rice, beans, cotton ball, dried oatmeal, pom pom’s, leaves, playdough, small exercise balls, squishy items, spikey items, soft items, bubble wrap, etc.
  (Can call it a “break” box)

• Look into a sensory diet (OT’s would do this)

• Provide calming music

• Foot Fidget: tie a piece of exercise band around the base of the front legs or a desk or add this foot fidget to the desk to give busy legs something to do

• Cup for drinking water/milk with a chewy straw to help with chewing

• Designated “special place” for lining up (front or back)

• Rocking back and forth with a partner to row row row your boat song

• Yoga: especially the inverted pose

• Cuddle / Pod swing

1. Develop a crash/quiet corner AKA Sensory corner

Sensory-seeking students should have a place to get out some energy, and a corner with a few pillows can be just the place. This allows them a place to seek more physical sensory input by falling or crashing on the pillows. For further sensory input, you could even provide a heavy blanket or weighted lap pad and fidget toy, maybe even some squeezy balls or squeezy slime. This would allow a sensory-seeking student the physical sensation they crave. On the other hand, an overstimulated student can escape to the same quiet corner. Consider arming this corner with sunglasses or headphones for hearing protection for the sensory-avoiding student.

2. Consider heavy work

Sometimes sensory seeking students need a bit of “heavy work” to give them sensory input.  It may be as simple as moving a desk or a stack of books — but it gives the sensory seeking body some big-muscle exercise and can result in a well-balanced sensory student. Consider teaming up with another teacher and having your sensory-craving student move heavy books/object from one classroom to another, or have a sensory-seeking student help you put up chairs at the end of the day. Alternatively, remember that a sensory-avoiding student might need a break from large body movement.

3. Space

A hypersensitive child might be overwhelmed at the sights, sounds, and even smells of the classroom. Don’t be afraid to give them space and time. If they are consistently overwhelmed by the closeness of their fellow students, giving them a special spot in the classroom that maximizes their personal space can help. Consider the hypersensitive child’s visual environment as well; while most children love a brightly-colored classroom, a particularly sensitive child might need a view that is a bit more barren.

4. Recess

Use recess to your best advantage. Encourage hypo-sensitive children to run and swing, making large-muscle movements that will help them balance their sensory needs for a calm body in the classroom. At the same time, allow hypersensitive children to withdraw from the noise and activity of their classmates and stay inside to read or relax.

5. Fidget

Sensory seekers often have roaming hands. Keep those hands full or busy — arm sensory seekers with stress balls or provide a small strip of rough aplix attached to the bottom of their desk.  Some sensory seekers enjoy wearing rubber-band bracelets or have special pencil holders that give them the input they crave.

6. Take a seat

Some solutions for sensory seekers can be implemented right where they sit. A large rubber band or exercise band around the legs of a desk can provide a sensory-seeker an opportunity to push, bounce, or pull at the band and decrease other movements that might disrupt the classroom. Some students respond well to the sensory input of bumpy seat cushions. Some teachers have even replaced all of the seats in their classroom with exercise balls, which allows all children to work out their wiggles during the day.

Whether seeking or avoiding, children learn best when their sensory systems are well-balanced. A few well-placed tricks can help with classroom management and also allow opportunities for enjoyment of education in students who might not otherwise learn well. These solutions can work not only for diagnosed sensory students, but for any student who might benefit from them.

TYPES OF SENSORY INPUT:

• Sight: Visual patterns, certain colors or shapes, moving or spinning objects, and bright objects or light.

• Smell: Specific smells. Some kids like to smell everything, while some kids are able to detect—and object to—smells that other people don’t notice.

• Hearing: Loud or unexpected sounds like fire alarms or blenders, singing, repetitive or specific types of noises (like finger snapping or clapping).

• Taste: Specific tastes (like spicy, sour, bitter, or minty) and textures (like crunchy, chewy, or mushy), chewing or sucking on non-food objects (like shirt sleeves or collars).

• Touch: Touch from other people, touching and fiddling with objects, tight or soft clothing, and certain textures or surfaces.

Heavy Work/Proprioceptive FAQ:

Which therapist provides support for this?
Occupation therapists who specialize in sensory processing typically specialize in this area (keep in mind not all occupational therapists have this training)

What is heavy input or proprioceptive activities? 

Any activity that requires using the core or our muscles. Think weight lifting. Painting with a paintbrush may feel good as a sensory activity, but it is not necessarily a heavy input activity because you may not be using much muscle for that.

What are examples of heavy input activities? Anything with…

• Crawling/climbing

• Pushing heavy items

• Pulling

• Bouncing 

• Chewing 

• Carrying heavy items

Examples can include cleaning such as using a vacuum, pushing a heavy buggy cart, bouncing on a ball, carrying a grocery bag, obstacle courses that require crawling on the floor, climbing foam blocks as an obstacle course, pulling stretchy bands, stomping feet, pushing the wall, pulling velcro, chewing on a chew, moving furniture, jumping jacks, lifting a heavy lid, playing with theraputty (not regular putty), catching or pushing a weighted ball 

How often and when should proprioceptive activities be offered?

• Prior to circle time or any sitting activities 

• After any long period sitting task (including meals)

• Heavy input activity should also be offered as one of the free play choices

• More than one activity should be offered at all times (free access)

How long can a child sit still or attend based on science?

• 2 year old: 4-6 minutes (10 minutes if it is a highly preferred activity)

• 3-4 year old: 5-15 minutes (15 minutes if its a highly preferred activity)

Signs a child needs a heavy work activity? 

• Climbing furniture 

• Pushing furniture

• Running back and forth multiple times

• Spinning

• Biting/chewing random items

• Bending over backwards or extending their body in some way 

• Holding or squeezing an object very tightly 

• Bangs a body part repetitively or a an object repetitively

REMINDERS:

• ORAL: Remember for Oral sensory seeking (such as chewing), it’s not that they WANT to chew.  It’s that they have an oral sensory NEED to chew.  Telling them to stop is not going to help. Instead, you want to give them a safe outlet to chew on. 

• TOUCH: Everything in your world is affected by the way your tactile system interprets it…hugs, clothing, the grass or sand under your feet, the food you eat, the coffee you drink.  All of these things have one thing in common- Touch. The tactile system is invaluable in developing emotional security, social skills and academic learning.

• VESTIBULAR: Your vestibular system provides you with a sense of balance and an awareness of your spatial orientation (Am I upside down? Am I sideways?) It orients information about the speed and direction of movement (How fast are you going?) and facilitates posture and a stable base for visual and auditory information.
  If you're under-responsive to vestibular input, you may be able to tolerate a lot of movement before it registers, therefore your body may be in constant motion. If you are over-responsive, or hypersensitive, to vestibular input, you may not be able to handle movement at all! Because of this difficulty, you may avoid activities that challenge your balance and coordination.

Classroom Routine flexibility:

Flexibility in offering a sensory break during any routine activity is very important for the purposes of preventing big behaviors and feelings from occurring and ensuring a child’s needs are being met. If a child walks away from a routine activity, offer an engaging sensory or heavy input activity. Once this occurs, you can bring them back to the task or activity at hand. If it appears they need more, you can prompt “more time” and offer more. 

Consistency is Key. If you attempt to provide an adaptive object, refrain from simply offering it once or expecting it to be effective after one attempt. Repetition is key, as well as Teaching the individual how to use it as a replacement. Most importantly, ensure assent-- the agreement through body language, gestures, or vocal communication by the child or client that they are okay with receiving this alternative. If it appears they find it aversive or they do not want it, it’s time to get creative, and remember to break it down when introducing it!

Sensory processing challenges can often stem from developmental delays or abnormalities in the brain activity of an individual, side effects of medications, passing on of certain genetics, epigenetics of trauma, and more.

Shaping your Relationships: Reinforcement vs. Punishment

Wouldn’t it be nice to have more control over your relationships? Albeit, there are some things we inevitably do not have control over, such as our partner's behaviors or how a stranger treats us. But here is what we can control: our own responses and our own actions. This is powerful because our own actions can influence and shape our partners or strangers behaviors in the way that we desire them to be.

If you want to take more control of your life, here is a different take on how to influence your interactions' direction. One of the most important concepts from behavior analysis is the concept of punishment and reinforcement and understanding how it applies to everyday life. If you aren’t familiar with applied behavior analysis (ABA), it is the scientific study of behaviors (both internal behaviors such as emotions and external behaviors such as our daily actions). Those who have studied in the field use a data and analytical approach to create positive change in a person or animal's life through individualized strategies catered to them.

Let’s review a quick recap of the difference between reinforcement and punishment from a behaviorally scientific perspective. See below:

Positive Reinforcement (adding something pleasant): A mother gives her son praise (reinforcement added) for doing homework (behavior)
Negative Reinforcement (taking away something aversive): Bob does the dishes (behavior) in order to stop his mother’s nagging (nagging is taken away)
Positive Punishment (adding an aversive stimuli): Making a child do an unpleasant task when they misbehave (positive punishment)
Negative Punishment (taking away something pleasant): A wife tells her husband that she is feeling frustrated with him, and the husband ignores her (attention taken away)
*Key Note: Negative punishment AND positive punishment both provide negative results and can increase an undesired behavior, and should always be used as a last resort

With reinforcement, a behavior or action is likely to increase because they are motivated by either something unpleasant that was removed, or something they desire is provided in response to the behavior. However, the consequences of punishment can result in…

• A harmful emotional response ( feelings of shame, fear, anxiety, guilt, self-punishment, or low self-esteem)

• potentially increase aggressive behavior (because it models aggression)

• Suppress a behavior (i.e. they may stop communicating to you because you don’t respond to them anyway or they don’t feel safe)

• It does not teach a replacement: It does not teach, replace, or model to them the appropriate alternative, so they are likely to repeat the behavior

• Temporary Boomerang effect: once the punishment is withdrawn, the behavior will come back again

Punishment doesn’t just come in the form of actions, but also in words. Verbal punishment can look like this..

• “If you don’t do X then I’m leaving you” (negative punishment)

• “You’re grounded because you didn’t study hard enough/get straight A’s” (negative punishment)

• “That’s not good enough” (positive punishment)

• “You’re not listening” (positive punishment)

• “Why can’t you get this right?” (positive punishment)

Does any of it sound familiar? Typically, we do better when we are offered reinforcement such as acknowledgement or praise for something we did “Wow nice job I can tell you’ve been working really hard”. However, punishment can make us feel less of a person, feel like we are not good enough (or never will be good enough), and frustrated– which can lead to suppression of emotions and unhealthy emotional responses. This is the cross-section of where we tend to encounter harmful or frustrating behaviors from others. In children, unhealthy responses can look like tantruming, grabbing, hitting, screaming, biting or simply refusing to listen. In adults, unhealthy responses can look like yelling, road rage, slamming doors, getting defensive, shutting down, blaming, or verbal name calling.

It’s important to think about if our own actions and responses offer reinforcement or punishment to those we interact with daily. The more we engage in punishment behaviors, the less likely we are going to gain access to what we want from a person, which is someone who reciprocates in a cooperative, loving and respectful way. The good news is every response is a skill, and new skills can be acquired, shaped and changed. 

Here are some ways we can influence what we want in a relationship, whether that is with a friend, family, stranger or partner. 

• Think of replacements for toxic responses.  Instead of nagging, learn how to share a need or boundary. Instead of throwing a dangerous item, is throwing is helpful, learn to throw soft pillows.

• Avoid attention or reinforcement for undesired behavior. This is especially big for children who learn at an early age to behave in ways to get their needs met. Instead of giving attention or reacting to the behavior, respond to the child’s underlying needs. A child is throwing a tantrum? An underlying need may simply to be comforted and held by mom (the item they are tantruming about will eventually fade if the parent knows how to meet their needs, believe me).

• Be consistent with your reinforcement and responses (and mean what you say). Consistency is linked to trust. So if you are say one thing but do another, or you say you will doing something but you only do it occasionally, it will be difficult for parent, child, colleague to believe what you say. This is where challenging responses come in.

• Model what you want. If you want your husband to emotionally support you, how well are you offering that yourself? If you want your child to stop responding a certain way, are you modeling that response in any way?
  
  Consider self-reflecting: How are you responding to yourself? Are you reinforcing or punishing yourself, when bad things happen? What about things that happen that are not in your control? How are you responding, and how is the world responding to you? What is that teaching you?
  
  If you feel you have healthy relationships, here is a challenge:
  How are your actions and responses reinforcing or shaping those around you? In other words– what behaviors are you reinforcing on social media, at work, in friend circles, children, etc? Are you reinforcing the right ones?
  For example, say person A posts a comment on an article Person B posts and person A writes “That’s stupid, they have no idea what they are talking about”. If person A gets a response (thats not a reprimand), or even a “like” to their comment, people just socially reinforced that behavior. Therefore, that person is going to think it is appropriate and okay to respond to just about anything that way.
  Another example: say your friend is stating “wow I don’t think that girl showers, she has a bad smell”. And you respond “oh yeah I see what you mean”, just to appease and go along with your friend. What you just did was reinforce a behavior for speaking badly of others and thinking lowly of others. Therefore, those types of statements will continue with others.
  
  One of my own personal goals that I made was that I was going to stop acknowledging and responding to negative comments pro-actively. If it’s a self-pity comment, a condescending one, a blaming one towards me– I’m going to do my best to provide a response that does not encourage or continue the conversation. However if they are showing vulnerability, they are communicating their needs, they are apologizing or acknowledging differences, I’m ALL in and I’m going to reinforce that to its fullest.
  
  This is why it’s important to reinforce appropriate behaviors for kids at a young age, they are our future generation!

How to communicate during conflict: Voice your EFN

Many of us were rarely taught how to communicate in a healthy way. Here is a simple acronym to communicate safely and effectively. Voice your...Emotion, Fear, and Need (EFN)

Step 1: Understand Context
Remember that this is a new skill that you and your loved ones are practicing. A skill takes practice, time, failed mistakes, patience, and compassion. Have realistic expectations.

Step 2 : Preventative measure
Practice this skill when....

• You are not fighting

• You are not in a heated situation

• You are not angry or frustrated

• You are in a good mood

This requires commitment, planning, and discipline to do but it will make your practice much easier

Step 3: Prerequisites

To voice your EFN, you need to be in a regulated state (not heightened, and in control of your emotions). This goes for the person you are conversing with as well. If you are not, recognize that this is not the time to communicate.

Step 4: Self-Awareness

Recognize signs of being triggered,/dysregulated

• Blaming “You are not listening” or “You’re doing this, that’s why we keep fighting”

• Mind reading/assumptions: “you don’t even care”

• Getting reactive “Why did you do that?” or “I already told you”

• Shutting down, not responding, or walking away

• Defensiveness “no that’s not what I said” or “I’m not doing that”

• Rationalizing or explaining behavior “This is why I said this…”

• Fixing the problem or trying to offer a solution

• Forecasting: “but this could happen later”

• Deflecting: changing the subject or bringing up the past

• Criticizing: “You’re not doing it the right away” or “You’re always forgetting”

A trigger can be a tone, a phrase, a look, a sound, almost anything! When we are triggered, it means a past memory that has become a wound or a painful experience, is brought back into the present, as if it were happening again. When this happens, our bodies go into fight or flight mode (survival mode), unable to process what is happening in the present moment. We can’t be open, collaborative or receive.

Step 5: Implementing EFN

Be very specific with your need. Instead of saying “You need to comfort me”, tell them what comfort looks like.

“I need you to hug me when I cry”

“I need you to stay quiet when I talk”

“I need to tell me “It will be okay”

Here are some example statements of using EFN:

Context: Partner Being Defensive

“I feel unheard right now (emotion). I’m terrified this is disconnecting us (fear). I need you to take a deep breath, and just say ‘I hear you’ when I share” (need).

Context: Delegating responsibilities

“I feel really frustrated right now (emotion). I’m scared that I will end up doing all the chores and hit my breaking point (fear). I need us to split some of the work and write this down so I don’t feel so overwhelmed” (need)

Recognize that the other child or adult WILL have triggers (that are not in your control) and you may not recognize you’ve triggered them. If they seem dysregulated or not in a place to listen to you, set a boundary, request a break, and schedule a better time to talk.

This may look like…

“Let’s take a break to calm down and return in an hour to talk. I’ll set a timer.”

“I’m not in a place to listen right now. I’m going to the room to take a break. I’ll come to you when I’m ready.”

“I can tell you’re feeling upset. Let’s talk about this tomorrow when we both feel better.”

A few additional reminders if you want to try EFN:

1. Ideally, the listener should engage in reflective listening as a response to your EFN. Reflective listening is not about being right or wrong, or you giving them your opinion or experience. Reflective listening is about the listener (the person receiving the EFN) recognizing and acknowledging the speaker’s need. We have to remember that saying “I can see what is important to you” or “I hear this is what you are saying” does not = “I agree with what you say”, it simply communicates that they are worth listening to.

2. When you are “taking your break”— this does not mean you use this time to shut down and zone out. Break time needs to be intentional and focused on calming your body and nervous system down. This could look like talking to a friend, practicing breath work, or journaling what you are frustrated about. Some of this can include zoning out as well if you just need a mental break, but carve only 10% of your time for this.

3. To truly be able to practice this skill requires you to have a strong identity, awareness of your needs, and emotional self-awareness. It doesn’t mean you need to be perfect at this, but it does mean that any choice we make (to have a child, to get married, etc) it comes with some work. This will be an especially hard muscle to exercise for people who struggle with people-pleasing or get stuck in fawn mode. Those who have unprocessed trauma and engage in avoiding their emotions will also equally have a much harder time, but remember that the more you exercise that muscle, the stronger it gets.

4. Last, remember to come back to the topic instead of leaving it hanging. This is called repairing.

What is anxiety and what can I do about it?

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a fear-based reaction stemming from a series of traumatic events or stress-related events that have occurred in a person’s life. More specifically, it is a fear of an unwanted future or an unwanted past, therefore has a lot to do with an attempt to regain control of a situation or person in the present moment situation. It is the product of a specific combination of emotions (such as shame and fear) that were not processed in the way they should have been at the time of the stressful event. As a result, anxiety becomes a form of self-protection and a coping skill.

How do I know I’m experiencing anxiety?

Anxiety can show up in our thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and bodies. See how it can show up below:

Thoughts:

• Inability to make decisions

• Repetitive worrying thoughts

• Ruminating on a problem

• Negativity or critical thoughts

• Racing thoughts

Behaviors:

• Insomnia

• Forgetfulness 

• Procrastinating 

• Keeping yourself busy

• Inability to make mistakes

Emotions:

• Feeling on edge

• Overwhelmed

• Not feeling confident

• Irritable

• Feeling scared

Body:

• Headaches

• Muscle aches & tension 

• Jaw tension or TMJ

• Chest Pain

• Upset Stomach

*It is important to note that anxiety is not exclusive to only these symptoms

How do I know when I need to address anxiety?

If you have ever experienced any of the symptoms above at any point, it is helpful to address them right away. Just like brushing our teeth to prevent cavities, we want to take preventative measures before it gets worse. When anxiety begins impacting your ability to maintain healthy relationships, build relationships, or create a consistent decrease in life satisfaction, this is a red flag to take note of. When we delay addressing our anxiety symptoms for too long, this can lead to disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression, chronic pain, and eventually even autoimmune disorders. Seek out professional help from a therapist, a behavior coach, or practice consistent self-compassion. To practice self-compassion, try these 3 easy mental hacks I recommend based on the principles of acceptance commitment therapy (ACT), a compassion-focused modality of behavior therapy.

3 mental hacks for anxiety

1. Lean in

Have you ever used a finger trap? If not, I recommend you to try it! A finger trap is a simple puzzle contraption that traps a person’s two fingers inside the woven bamboo piece when placed inside on both ends. Instinctually, we often think to get out of a finger trap we need to pull our fingers out, in which case our fingers get stuck. The trick to getting your fingers out is to lean in and push your fingers toward one another.

Similarly, with our emotions, we want to lean in instead of moving away from the emotion. Leaning in is the acceptance and willingness to acknowledge the emotion is there, but it doesn’t mean you have to like the emotion. Acknowledge it by thinking about it, writing it down, or sharing it out loud with a friend. The more we avoid the emotion by distracting ourselves (with Netflix or phone scrolling) the more we get trapped in our fear and anxiety.

2. Alter ego

Think of the characters Jekyll & Hyde from the 1880’s novel or Hulk from the Marvel comic series. Both characters have two alter egos. Dr. Jekyll is a kind scientist who can become Mr. Hyde, an evil villain who avoids responsibility and commits crimes. Bruce Banner is a kind doctor who can become Hulk, an uncontrollable monster driven by rage. Dr. Jekyll and Bruce both need to acknowledge and accept that both alter egos are part of their identity, and ultimately their true desire is the ability to control both identities.

Similarly, with our emotions, it is important to understand that our emotions are a part of what makes us human and they come out for a reason. They are often feedback that there is something we are neglecting in our health. However, when we get consumed by our emotions, then our emotions begin to become the driver of our thoughts and actions and we become the passenger (like Hulk’s rage or Mr. Hyde). Learn to distance yourself from your emotions by giving them an ‘alter ego’. Give it a name and make it an entity. For example, “Negative Nancy is talking again” or “Anxious Abby is at it again”. If you aren’t comfortable with trying this, you can also use the statement “My brain is telling me I’m worthless again”, and try speaking to that entity like you would to a friend in need. Practice this either in your self-talk or when talking with a safe friend or partner.

3. BYOD (Be Your Own Detective)

What makes a detective good at their job? Before a detective successfully solves a case, they observe, look at the clues, analyze, and approach with curiosity. We can also be a detective with our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Simply noticing and observing how you feel or what physical symptoms come up (even in the next 2-3 days after) when you experience anxiety can give you helpful feedback. That feedback can help you understand what necessary boundaries need to be set and provide you direction with your future choices.

Challenge and question your thoughts and emotions with curiosity: “Is that statement true?”, “Will I feel the same intensity of this emotion in 3 days?”, “What is my anxiety telling me about my needs?” or, “I notice my chest feels tight whenever I see a deadline”.

What does current research say about ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)?

• Applying ACT to yourself can be a helpful self-help method for reducing anxiety even without therapy

• ACT is potentially more effective than other modalities of therapy for decreasing depression

• ACT helps optimize quality of life by increasing mental, physical, emotional, and social health

• ACT has been proven to significantly decrease clinical levels of anxiety in adolescent

For additional tips on dealing with anxiety click here for a free resource.

Significance of Learning Styles for Professional Development

It is important to note that every individual processes and learns differently. The tips below are catered to working individuals in the working field. Here are 8 methods for maintaining professional development for professionals, clinicians, teachers, and more!

1) Social media: (I know, this is a debatable one but it can help you keep up with current trends in your field)

2) Reading Literature: reading evidenced based articles & trending researchers!

3) Conferences: Gaining new knowledge AND networking (they have small and big international ones)

4) Mentorship: someone to meet weekly to keep you accountable in your practices AND as a guide as you make daily decisions in personal life and the work place

5) CE/CEU trainings: (ideally in person). Yes this one is technically required for many to maintain their certification, but I hope you do this with intention and take advantage by taking courses in the niche areas you are interested in!

6) Collaborating with your supervisors and supervisee’s at work: yes this is one! “Teamwork makes the dream work”. We can do and learn very little on our own, but by making the effort to truly reach out to our colleagues and learn from them (yes, even those we supervise), you can learn things you never thought you would. This one requires an open mind.

7) Teaching: This is THE best way to kinesthetically learn (to learn by doing). Teaching the content yourself, even if you already know it well or have been in the field for several years, will assist you with being more competent in the material on a deeper level. Most importantly, you learn a lot about yourself. This can also include training others.

8) Journaling: There is evidence that by writing down our thoughts (on paper or computer) it can increase memory, communication skills, self-confidence, critical thinking skills and even a higher IQ! And we all know we need soft skills in our profession Did you know posting on social media or writing notes can be considered journaling too? Get creative!

Why is growing yourself important? It is part of our ethics in ABA “maintaining competence through professional development”. On a personal level (for just about any professional), this helps us stay connected and not be stagnant. By engaging in professional development, we are continually reminded of why we do what we do, and those values of “why’s” are super important. As a cherry on top, it helps us become better human beings by practicing our soft skills.

How many of these do you engage in? We all have methods that may not be of interest to us, and that’s okay. The good news is there is a variety of methods to grow yourself. Ideally as a general rule of thumb, consistently doing at least 2-3 of these on a regular basis is the most optimal!

Who is the expert? Discerning the difference between a behavior analyst, pediatrician, neuropsychologist, occupational therapist, psychologist, and special education teachers

Often times, it is difficult for parents, teachers and even clinical professionals to navigate who the expert is in diagnosing a child, providing therapy, or addressing specific concerns. Below, I have pasted a list of common fields that get misconstrued for their expertise:

You’ll often find that behavior analysts or behavior technicians working in the behavioral therapy field within autism. But keep in mind, that they do not specialize in autism or necessarily have thorough training in neurodivergent development. They specialize in analyzing behavior and using evidence-based tools to create (overt) behavior change for individuals.
Not all people who specialize in behavior are behavior analysts. They may be RBTs, BCaBAs, or just behavior specialists with a master’s degree. To be a behavior analyst you had to have passed the licensure exam and completed several supervision hours. Because our field is often working in the autism field, many parents may refer to BCBAs to answer questions about their child’s autism. However, it is important to recognize that our training and education do not necessarily include courses specifically on autism, therefore if you are looking to understand autism and the way their brains are wired, it is better to seek out an autism expert.

Pediatricians do not diagnose, assess, or understand autism or other diagnoses (unless they specialize in this). They specialize in the basic developmental life stages of a child.
I have heard many times parents tell me that their child doesn’t have autism because their pediatrician said they don’t. Eek! It’s important to note that pediatricians do not have the authority or training to diagnose if a child has any disability. What they can do is assist you with discerning if your child is meeting appropriate milestones, if they are eating enough and getting enough nutrient, or to treat health conditions (such as fever, pink eye or ear infection).

Neuropsychologists do not specialize in behavioral or therapeutic experts. They are experts in evaluating and diagnosing an individual (such as with autism, ADHD, etc).
These are the people you want to seek out if you are looking for a diagnosis (especially autism). They may recommend behavioral therapy, speech, or occupational therapy for an individual— but they are not experts in any of those fields.

Occupational therapists are not necessarily experts in physical therapy (and vice versa) or sensory integration. They are experts in motor skills to assist with performing activities in daily life due to setbacks (i.e injury, illness, disabled)
These experts take a holistic approach and focus on motor skills/fine motor skills to assist with specific day-to-dayy tasks. *Not all occupational therapists have knowledge or experience in sensory integration, they had to have had specific training in this field- always ask if they are trained in this if you are not sure! (Sensory integration can assist individuals who have difficulty regulating their bodies or engage in stimming (repetitive behaviors), making choices, regulating their emotions, problem-solving, and more).

Psychologists are not necessarily experts in behavior change/ behavior therapy and do not prescribe medication.
They specialize in using evidence-based tools to address the traumatic or cognitive aspects of your life to assist with mental health.
These experts are the typical therapists you may seek out for help. Their expertise can have a very wide range of focus and training specialties (marriage/adults/teens/families/anxiety/trauma/multigenerational issues/abuse/depression) so make sure you look for one that is an expert in your specific issues!

Special education teachers (or teachers in general) do not necessarily have training in classroom management or children with disabilities. They are trained in school standards, special education policies, child development, and general education psychology.
Effective behavior management is not typically part of the training courses for special education teachers (or teachers in general). Their educational courses typically do not dive deep into the various disabilities of children that they may encounter in the actual classroom either. Their focus is primarily on learning how to teach school subjects at various learning levels through the school system. Occasionally, an experienced special education teacher may have knowledge of positive behavior support systems (this system is not necessarily data-driven) or have pursued an additional degree to help them become a more competent teacher however, what degree/focus this is can vary. School policies that a teacher may follow for disruptions or behavioral issues with students also do not typically follow an evidence-based method for how to effectively respond (i.e. they use a lot of punishment procedures such as detention, time out, etc.). Some schools, however, may hire a behavior coach (someone who specializes in applied behavior analysis) to assist students with specific challenges. If your school has the funding for this, then you are in luck!

What to be vigilant about with insurance-based ABA Companies

What are insurance-based ABA companies? They are ABA companies that provider services to families who are eligible to receive behavior intervention services under their insurance due to a diagnosis of their child. Below, are just some of the facts and information that may assist you if you have ever had services from a company.

Insurance-based ABA Companies are typically dictated by what insurance is willing to pay for. Insurance however, can limit some of the quality services that may be necessary for a family to receive. This can include (but not excluded to): in depth behavior technician trainings, team meetings outside of session to communicate, or additional admin work such as creating content and resources for families. Most of you already know what the pro’s are to receiving ABA services from an insurance-based company (just read the companies motto!), however most will not tell you the possible side effects of behind-the-scene operations from the employee or company perspective. If you have been a victim of an ABA company or worse, traumatized by the lack-of-quality of one, below are some important notes that might help:

• It is important to note that insurance providers who decide what services are billable to insurance by the ABA companies are not educated, trained, or necessarily well versed in the field of applied behavior analysis

• Insurance providers expect an X number of programs to be run at the same time, oftentimes this could be up to 30+ programs being run simultaneously in one session by the behavior technician. It is important to ask, is this something you are okay with? Does this set your child up for success?

• Insurance companies require an assessment and goals that stem from those assessments. The problem with that is while assessments can be helpful, not every individual needs one (much less 30+ programs) to be successful. Ask yourself, Are all these goals relevant and socially valid for your child? If utilized for the wrong reasons, this can set the entire ABA team (including the client) up for failure or trauma. 

• It is important to note that many individuals may be more motivated by the compensation aspect than maintaining top notch quality services. That may mean ABA companies are not willing to pay out of pocket for their employees for important aspects of quality service such as in-depth training, meetings outside of sessions, and additional administrative time when needed. If they did, they would lose money.  This leaves their employee’s (BCBA’s/RBT’s) less motivated and uncompensated, which may result in high turnover rate. Furthermore, this creates a toxic dynamic of untrained therapists and BCBA’s who are not held accountable for possible unethical decisions or actions that are being implemented with a client.

• Many ABA companies get stuck in a cycle of accepting more families/clients before they have hired enough RBT/BCBA’s for these families. That means either the family gets their hopes up by the company only to go several months without services, or there is high turnover rate from the company due to the urgency to hire, and the family can go through as many as 3-4 different RBT’s/BCBA’s within a 6 month period, This can result in frustration and a bad experience with the ABA field, making long term support for their child become unattainable, or potential for trauma if the behavior technician is not adequately trained due to the urgent need for staff by the company.

• Insurance providers require company staff to check mark “communication and social skill deficits and repetitive and restrictive behaviors” (since this is considered part of the diagnosis) in order to submit notes. There is a current shift where many individuals see those with autism (and other diagnosed labels) as individuals who are wired differently and learn differently, rather than having skill deficits or restrictive behaviors-because this directly affects how we perceive the services we offer. For families or trending BCBA’s in the field who do not possess these traditional beliefs about individuals with autism, you need to ask, what does this say about the company or staff who are following insurance protocols such as these?

This does not mean that all insurance-based ABA companies approach services like this, although it may be difficult to find a quality company. Receiving quality services from an insurance-based ABA company is going to depend on many factors: the individuals who take your caseload (not necessarily the company) and their training experience, the values of the company (and if they actually follow those values), how the company compensates and treats their employee’s, and so much more. Furthermore, having the ability to receive free behavior intervention services for families who cannot afford it is as a service is very necessary. At the end of the day, the conclusion should not to veer away from insurance-based companies, but to be vigilant, do your research, ask questions, and reach out for advocacy services when you aren’t certain if you are receiving quality services. Please refer to my advocacy services to learn more.